In my descent into old age, nothing has been more frustrating than needing reading glasses. Having not needed any kind of glasses until roughly 50, I was not accustom to having them on my face, let alone needing to take them off and on as needed, manage their location, and generally acclimate to living with them. But I’ve come a long way in a short time. I no longer knock them off my face when I bring my hand up to scratch my head or face. I’ve really adjusted such that my brain accounts for the space they take up as part of my existence, even though I only need them for reading.

So it comes as no surprise that when faced with the image you see here, I immediately went for my glasses. Given that I was already in the shower, they immediately steamed up. If it’s not clear, there’s green text on a green background at the bottom of each bottle. I don’t know who thought this color font on this background at this size was a good idea, but not knowing which is which forced me to experiment…as if my experience with shampoo, conditioner, and body wash somehow equipped me for this moment. It did not.