By Charlesjsharp – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link

Reading Mark Twain to the kids, the word “jackass” came up, so for the benefit of Jared, the 11 year old, I thought to explain, “So a jackass is another word for a donkey.”

“Oh, I thought it was about the penguin,” he responded.

His older brother, my wife, and I were all incredulous, “what?!” Laughing we asked, “where did you come up with that?”

“It’s a real thing!”

“I don’t think so,” someone said.

“Look it up. I’m pretty sure.”

“I’d be surprised,” I said, “but lets see.” I typed into Google and read aloud the Wikipedia entry that appeared at the top:

“The African penguin (Spheniscus demersus), also known as the jackass penguin and black-footed penguin is a species of penguin…”

After we got over laughing at that, I wondered out loud, “I wonder why they call them that?”

“Because they make a noise like a donkey does,” Jared said.

I read further, ” It is also widely known as the “jackass” penguin for its donkey-like bray.”

“Well,” I said to my son, “good job, knowing that. And not just that, but also why. I’m blown away, how the heck do you know all that?”

“Books dad. I read it in a book.”

Like most people, my brain has its unique little quirks. One rather annoying one is this inability to drop certain associations or subjective opinions (particularly ones created by media or some perceived authority at the time), or else some random commonality that connected them in my mind but doesn’t really hold any value.

For example, in the 80s, I saw Lea Thompson in Red Dawn, and Jennifer Jason Leigh in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. In my mind they looked somewhat similar, and then there’s the similar sound of Leigh and Lea. Since then they are forever connected in my head, I can’t see or think of one without thinking of the other. Here’s another example: as a kid I read a blurb in some magazine about Bob Seger’s new album where he was described as the hardest working man in music. At that age I had not yet heard that expression, and while I now know that it’s just a common phrase thrown around willy-nilly by marketing people, back then my brain took it as some kind of researched fact. Obviously I know better now, but I can’t hear a bob Seger song without hearing that blurb in my head.

As you can imagine, it gets tiring having to repeatedly remind myself to disconnect unrelated associations and readdress all the unwelcome “laws” and “facts” created by these impressions time and time again. They hardly ever get replaced by new info, but rather new info is added and compiled with the first. So while do I know the truth, or at least my own opinions about certain topics, I still have to hear the first opinion I subscribed to about it in my head when the topic comes to mind, and then apply the new information immediately after.

It’s tedious in my head.

But every once and a while this flawed synaptic brain fritz does something not entirely tedious.

Not long after Carrie Fisher’s death, I caught a video of her on Ellen where she was asked about her love of coca-cola. And she described how much she enjoys the cold sharp crispness of a fresh coke and how once it gets a little warm she can’t even finish it. As a long time lover of coke (and Fisher if I’m being honest), I could relate. I’m not as bad as her, I don’t open 16 cans a day and not finish them, but I have noted the pleasure of the cold sharp crispness of a freshly opened can and so her quirky anecdote resonated with me.

Now, every time I open a can of coke I think of Carrie Fisher, and it’s not unwelcome.

While reading a story to the kids, I mispronounced Barney as Blarney. The kids had never heard that word before. After assuring them it was a real word, I told them all I knew. “In Irish tradition or superstition  they have something called a Blarney stone, and kissing it is supposed to bring good luck.”

Before I finished, the older kid had looked it up on Wikipedia, “The Blarney Stone is a block of Carboniferous limestone built into the battlements of Blarney Castle, Blarney…”

After reciting the introduction, he noted that the article was last modified 3 hours ago. “I wonder what could possibly have changed in the history of the blarney stone in the last 3 hours.”  We all laughed.

We don’t get much reading done this time of night.

Playing a board game with the kids, a card required them to write down something that got on their nerves. My job was to hear both and try to match the answer to the person. So I turn my back on them to preserve their anonymity and hear this:

Marcus: Write down something that gets on your nerves.

Scribbles noises.

Marcus: And Jared you can’t write “Marcus”.

Jared: Awww.