Me on social media: So, for 3-8 hours after my optometrist appointment, I will effectively be blind. What activities are available for the temporarily visually impaired without supervision?
My friends: Quality time…with yourself….What’s it gonna do, make you blinder? 🙂
Laura: I have to do some sit ups, could you put something on to entertain me.
Me: I don’t have any leopard skin boxers, but maybe I can find something…
Laura: A clown suit?
Me: Oh did you mean on TV?
Not only does this reaffirm my distrust of progress bars, but it’s increasing every second. As we speak it’s over 3 million percent, and 32 days. If I am to believe this, then the process won’t be complete for over a month, but it’s already complete many times over?!
It’s over 5 million now, but the green bar has gone, so we have many millions of percent completed, but a visual that says it hasn’t even started, and a eta of some time in the winter.
Because I had the foresight to keep them in the car, twice (separated by 15 years and multiple cars) I’ve been able to say to friends, “put the hammer down I’ve got lock picks.”
In 1991 a dorky role playing game sparked my interest in lock picking and being employed working with the Internet, I turned to it and found the MIT lock picking guide. Computers, hacking, and lock picking all share an element of puzzle or problem solving. Eventually I read Nightwork:
A History of Hacks and Pranks at MIT By Institute Historian T. F. Peterson and learned more of the MIT Hacking community and its history. Before the term hacking became associated with computers, MIT undergraduates used it to describe any activity that took their minds off studying, suggested an unusual solution to a technical problem, or generally fostered nondestructive mischief. Hacks can be technical, physical, virtual, or verbal. Often the underlying motivation is to conquer the inaccessible and make possible the improbable.
Ultimately it’s about solving the problem, learning from it, and using the learned skills for good.
I believe it was me who coined the phrase, delusions of grandeur.
This is the hole in my house.
I thought a mouse came in this hole I found in my house.
This is the nest I found in the hole I found in my house.
Twas not a mouse, but a stinging yellow pest’s nest I found in the hole I found in my house.
This my flamethrower, a gift from my wife.
This is a wingless yellow jacket, having lost his life,
from the flamethrower I got from my wife.
I hate nature.
Every once and a while I try to coach my teenager on how to be a human being. My wife thinks that’s funny.
“Hey! Jared bumped my arm!”
“So, sometimes you just have to say excuse me and move,” I said. My wife is stifling a grin while staring at me. She’s talking to me, but in her head. “What?” I ask her. Her grin widens. “Are you disparaging me in your head?”
“I’m surprised that’s in your vocabulary.”