The following story was copied years ago from a social network site I used to be on. It was a comment someone made about thanksgiving memories:
This was way back when I was a young lad of about 9 and VCRs and CamCorders were this newfangled technology that only the stupidly rich or the just plain stupid with their money could afford. So anyway, we had these neighbors whose driveway connected to a fairly busy street. I should also add that their yard was fenced in by a substantial fence that stood about 6′ or so. Said neighbors raised turkeys and every year would harvest one for Thanksgiving.
Well, that particular year, they had just gotten a video camera and decided to make a production out of killing the poor turkey, so the whole family dressed up as pilgrims and staged one of the funniest home videos I’ve ever seen. They did their harvesting the ‘old fashioned’ way by windmilling the bird by it’s feet and then, while it was still all messed up from the world spins, putting it’s neck on the block and beheading it with an ax.
Everything went fine until the poor bird’s head got lopped off; at that point, the person holding the body let go for some reason and the body started running around the yard, spewing blood on these people dressed like pilgrims and pretty much everything else. After about 40 seconds of footage of this, the now headless bird makes a bee line down their driveway, out into the busy street, and out of site behind the fence. The moment the turkey disappears from sight, you hear the sounds of a horn blaring and tires squealing and then a cloud of feathers rises up from behind the fence. While you see an old Buick, nose down almost to the ground and ass riding high, with a trailing cloud of feathers go screeching past the gap in the fence.
What truly made this epic was that you then hear the father of the family saying “Well, that’s that I suppose… Eric, go fetch another bird!”
I would give anything for a copy of that video.