My nine year old has a virus called 5th disease, it’s also called slap cheek because it makes his cheeks beat red. It harmless and will pass in just a few days, which makes the timeliness of his joke all that much more impressive.
Adding to the unique set of circumstances, he and his brother just started showing an interest in padded sword combat.
They were out fighting and the older boy hit him quite hard across one side of his face . When I’d heard about it later in the day, and asked him if he was alright he said, “yeah, I’m fine. It just looks like I have 6th disease on one side.”
I was out sick, and when I returned, one of my employees showed me a video of another employee falling off a mechanical bull. They had both left the office for a bit of fun that was going on outside the building. I wrote her this letter complete with the video linked below:
Subject: Holy Cow Am I Disappointed
It has come to my attention that while I was out on Tuesday, you were not at your desk as expected. To be quite frank: this is Bullcrap. And don’t give me any Cock and Bull story about having nothing to do. I know working it CIT isn’t exactly a Cash Cow opportunity, but it was a Bull-Headed move that doesn’t surprise me, given your attitude toward being inside on a nice day. When the sun is out, it’s like you’re a Bull in a China Shop.
I expect you to be an independent self-starter, to take the Bull by the Horns and not Fall Down on the job. But I’m not going to Have a Cow over this. You may have missed the mark on this one, and we could talk about it Until the Cows Come Home, but if you want to hit the Bull’s Eye, my advice to you would be to Steer clear of repeating this Heifty oversight, and if you work hard and not Cower from the challenge, you will be Back in the Saddle in no time.
Snowmageddon has come up in conversation a number of times in recent weeks for obvious reasons. The kids finally asked what it meant, which took us on a long trail of conversation involving, Armageddon, Apocalypse, Dystopia, Mad Max, Blade Runner, Walking Dead, Hunger Games, Fahrenheit 451, Brave New World, and 1984.
After all that the 8 year old says, “So when Arm-a-doom happens…”
I’m wondering when the Internet is going to start reporting on the inevitable psychological complex Right Shark will develop, now that pure chance has determined that Left Shark should be famous. Will Left Shark go on to fame and fortune, while Right Shark goes on to destitution and celebrity rehab, or simply the obscurity of the almost famous?
“Well, the word means to bring back to life, or rise from the dead, and people use it as an expression like, the project was resurrected because it wasn’t going anywhere and now it has new life.”
I considered ending it there, but not knowing in what context he heard it, I thought I should address all the possibilities.
“And then people also use it when they talk about religion. The Christian myth says that Jesus was killed and three days later he was resurrected.”
“Oh. So, like Frankenstein.”
“It was a bold question, and one which has ever been considered as a mystery; yet with how many things are we upon the brink of becoming acquainted, if cowardice or carelessness did not restrain our inquiries…In my education my father had taken the greatest precautions that my mind should be impressed with no supernatural horrors. I do not ever remember to have trembled at a tale of superstition or to have feared the apparition of a spirit. Darkness had no effect upon my fancy, and a churchyard was to me merely the receptacle of bodies deprived of life, which, from being the seat of beauty and strength, had become food for the worm.”
—Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein