I was out sick, and when I returned, one of my employees showed me a video of another employee falling off a mechanical bull. They had both left the office for a bit of fun that was going on outside the building. I wrote her this letter complete with the video linked below:
Subject: Holy Cow Am I Disappointed
It has come to my attention that while I was out on Tuesday, you were not at your desk as expected. To be quite frank: this is Bullcrap. And don’t give me any Cock and Bull story about having nothing to do. I know working it CIT isn’t exactly a Cash Cow opportunity, but it was a Bull-Headed move that doesn’t surprise me, given your attitude toward being inside on a nice day. When the sun is out, it’s like you’re a Bull in a China Shop.
I expect you to be an independent self-starter, to take the Bull by the Horns and not Fall Down on the job. But I’m not going to Have a Cow over this. You may have missed the mark on this one, and we could talk about it Until the Cows Come Home, but if you want to hit the Bull’s Eye, my advice to you would be to Steer clear of repeating this Heifty oversight, and if you work hard and not Cower from the challenge, you will be Back in the Saddle in no time.